Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was clumsy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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What's big, grey and can't climb trees? A carpark.

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what did the poor kid get from santa? Nothing santa hates poor kid, but the rich kid got a very nice convertable.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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I just painted my nails. I have braces.

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I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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salad days!

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i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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