What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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Illumati Confirmed

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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