Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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Pickles are moist.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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Woman's Rights

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did Sally have a bad vacation? Sally was shot at by a sniper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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