Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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Why was the black guy mad at the white guy? Duh, cause the black guy slapped the white guy.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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whats up and also down? your mum

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How does one peel a potato? First I would suggest going to your local grocery store, and purchasing a vegetable peeler (although, in fact, the potato is not considered a vegetable). Once at home, I recommend disinfecting it of germs. Unless you already own a vegetable peeler, in which case I would simply peel the potato as every normal human would.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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What's better than Justin Bieber's new hit single, "Baby"? Everything

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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