What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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Why was the boy sad. Because he had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he had been told he has three days to live. That's why.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a PENIS

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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