I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

thumb_up thumb_down -11

''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who's there? Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock whos there !!!!!.....WE.....ARE.......SPARTANSSSS.....!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red Violets are blue My friend has diabetes Stop posting diabetic jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops