Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the driver was a watermelon.

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I have Alzheimer. What?

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ask me if im a tree! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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