Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Bloody kids ...

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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binladin walks into the american seals

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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