- Anti Joke

what's brown and sticky? A stick!

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

What happened when the Mexican man contracted the muscles of his large bowel after a large meal? Shit made its way to his anus

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

Women's Rights

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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