Women rights..

If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

what the hell happened to your face

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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