Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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What do you call a fat man in a tiny pipe? Stuck.

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Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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