why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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what goes boo a sock

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Ju... Just why?

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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friend: whats in the box? me: shhhh, its your mom... im saving her for later.

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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What do you call a fly without wings? Injured and left for dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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