What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If at first you don’t succeed, you clearly weren’t the right person for the job. We’re sorry, but we’re going to have to let you go; please collect your belongings and vacate the premises immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -248

what's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8,493

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops