Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Harry Styles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Dumb

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Thumbs down if you like this anti-joke!

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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What did casino dealer say to the other? Every day I'm shuffling.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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