Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's better than group sex? Gang rape

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

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Why did the man with no legs go into the shoe store?

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how do you get the high score on doodle jump? jump from platform to platform without falling or being attcked by various monsters.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack. She's dead.

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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27

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Christmas was blonde that year and the lemon had several monkey lamps, so it asked, "Why are my toenails so radish-flavored?" There were no answers and many months passed by the Windows operating system like cars down a highway running over a family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure and drugs.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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How many Jews did Hitler kill during the Holocaust? Too many.

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What's black, white, and hungry? The population of Zimbabwe.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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