Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Santa isn't real

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Bitch! Love, J.B.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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h

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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