A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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A man goes to the doctor and complains: "Doctor, my Viagra hasn't worn off! It's been over eight hours!" The doctor replies "You were bitten by a banana spider. You have one day to live.

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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