Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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oooh look a banshee

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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What's the worst part of being a black Jew? That is a very uncommon combination of race and religion, therefore causing obvious confusion.

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

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You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first one.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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So a little girl walks into a bar.. and gets kicked out for being underaged.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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