A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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A blind man watches TV

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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My Boyfriend

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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