A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Your mom.

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the narcoleptic patient? It wasn't. The patients were treated because of moral obligations, but the doctors that laughed were either fired or warned, depending on if they had previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

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hashtags suck balls

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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