Hi Shelby!!

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Nicholas Cage

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A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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What do you call a Nazi in an airplane? Above sea level

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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