Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

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Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why couldn't the Mexican get a proper job? Because of his low socio-economic background and lack of education.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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