Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they can shoot steal and run and they keep brass knuckles in there waste band.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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What do you call a mexican hopping over fences - A parkour Artist

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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Fish for a man, he has food for tonight. Teach a man how to fish and he will have one more skill under his belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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