A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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JEWS

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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pudding

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Potato.

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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peter charastabopouloulous

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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An anti-joke

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What did the cat say when you rub it's stomach? Nothing because felines don't have the needed vocal organs to speak, and probaly wouldn't know english do to the size of there brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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