What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

dj miky

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Please spell dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

thumb_up thumb_down -29

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are many circumstances that could affect the outcome of the situation. One of them is whether or not the given people have or will soon obtain a ladder. In this case, the lightbulb could take more time than needed to be screwed in and effectively changed. Another key factor in the situation is the number of people. If there are enough people to reach the ceiling without a ladder, the lightbulb could be screwed in sooner or later than asked by the owner of the facility in which the lightbulb socket is installed. Finally, the height of the persons given is a crucial point in this situation. The people may be tall, thus allowing there to be fewer people needed. The people could be short and need a greater number of people than if the people were, perhaps, a bit taller. All in all, I'd say about 1-2.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Shotest joke ever... Your dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why Did The Boy Fall Off The Swing? Because He Had No Arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops