whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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Potato.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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