Why did the black man buy watermlons? Because a new local super market just opened and they were on sale.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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