If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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anus

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampon? A tampon doesn't cry when it's hungry or tired.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops