Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What's black, white and red all over? Multi- racial genocide.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

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69

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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