Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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I need a good anti joke....

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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How do you kill a blonde? Well there are many ways, but all of which are wrong because murder is illegal.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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You.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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There was a man from Dundee. who's limericks always ended on line three. I don't know why.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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