How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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Dont look at me.

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy i suck at rhyming door knob

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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h

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Justin Beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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