Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

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23

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What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Joe Alfon walkes into hell, The devil say: " hi" And joe burns to death

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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Womens rights

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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What comes after 23? 24.

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pickles are green infection is yellow all the girls i know call me a good fellow

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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