Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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whats the difference between a nigga and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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A bar walks into your mother.

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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White men's rights

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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Church.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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what do you do when a woman tells you no? cut her tongue out

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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