A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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What should I name my dog?

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops