A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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wanna hear a joke? no

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Pickle

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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