What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

I know you are but what am I? Gay.

A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

justin bieber

What do an elephant and a grape have in common? They're both purple... except for the elephant.

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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