how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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