Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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a man says "whats shakin bakin" to a friend, but his friend was shaking, because he often has seizures... thats what was shakin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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