What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck a penis

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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want more?

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(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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