What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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Poop.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 murdered her little sister

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? Two piles of dead babies.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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A Jewish man walks by a penny.

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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