Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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scientology.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Knock knock What?

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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