What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

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what is orange and blue 2 colors

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Cajuns love drinking And drowning too

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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