I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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Whats black and white and red all over? A multicultural parade where they all are wearing red clothes.

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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