What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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A Jew returns change.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? We are both therapists

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Why did the teenager cross the road? To get an abortion.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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