Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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69

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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Women's rights...

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Q: What has four legs and an arm. A: A pitbull on a playground

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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