What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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roses are red FACT violets are blue FACT this ryhm is boring how about you FACT

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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PENIS :)

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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A Black and a Mexican are in the back of a car, they are carpooling to save money on gas.

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Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

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Jordan is pregant

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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