Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

so a baby seal walks into a club...

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

Your mother is so fat.

What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

BOOBALANBOO

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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