Noses are red, pilots are blue I am dyxslexic boo who

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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you

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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