Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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Justin Bieber

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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hi my name is? joe

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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A can walks into a bar...HAHAHAHA JK LOL thats not possible! What was I thinking? Silly me! -David Bruggen

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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knock knock

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How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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