what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

potatoes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

Whats a black persons favorite flavored cake? fried chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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