knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Z.

If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

Women's rights.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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