Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops