If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Men, get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A grandma says come on twinkies and the teinkies say were terriosts from your lost hole

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't the man see the camoflague iguana He could.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops