Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +26

In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

" So let's set the world on fire..." Q: How do you do that? A: Strike a match...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

thumb_up thumb_down

Looks through the peephole.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where else? The junk yard

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops