Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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whats up fuch you bitch

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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Spotto

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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Once a upon a time there was a boy whom likes cheese. The boy: I like Cheese and thats the end of the story

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Why did a black man bring a baseball bat to a white man's apartment? Because he was stopping by his friends house before heading to a rousing game of baseball.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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