A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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Swag.

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

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What do a jew and a black have in common? God hates both of them

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Whats worse then 10 black men hanging from trees? Kittens

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What fires shots? A gun

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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Yo momma is so fat, that she is not able to wear the clothes she wore the previous year.

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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