Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A guy walks into a store and buys a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

thumb_up thumb_down

Get some flipping new jokes people

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops