what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror it displays her reflection like all mirrors do

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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LIE

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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i just wrote this so hard

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt. Why do we have to live in a world where people have to be so concered about why a stupid chicken decides to cross a road. Shouldnt we all be more focused on ways to get a better economy, or maybe end world hunger?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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